I once again turn to you, sweet friend. No other changes, just that I am seeing new horizons. However, only by that comes a myriad of changes, and of choices. I can’t seem to grasp the fact that I am now in a foreign land, only to be stuck with the same yearning I have back in Pinas.
So I write to you once again. Pouring out observations, decisions, feelings and whatever that might come out as I write.
Phase 1. Leaving
Leaving has never been an easy thing to do. I admit that leaving everything I got used to, is a little scary, even for a dreamer like me. Scary in a way that you are uncertain whether these things (or persons) would still be the same, from the moment you leave.
However, leaving is also scary if you are also uncertain if you do not know if someone will be sad enough to see you go. So I go the surprise of my life when I proved – to myself – that I am valued, and I am loved. Not just by a single person, but too many to count, fingers on hands and toes combined.
Some of those dear people who made an effort to make me realize that I matter to them. They went to great lengths just to make me feel special.
In fact, I even got two farewell dates-of-sorts before I left, one of Confe Dudes, and the other by Mangroup. It even happened all in the same day! Yeah, I know, we have weird group names. It’s just to emphasize on the fact that we are unique. 🙂
Okay, going back to the topic. Leaving them is definitely the ultimate test of friendship. Communication is a very large part of our relationship, and I hope that ours will survive, even if coming home is an unforeseeable thing in a future.
Nevertheless, I am grateful, for all their efforts, the surprise, the emotion, the hugs, the good lucks, and just pure friendship. Look, they even gave me letters, which I totally appreciate.
Phase 2. Arriving and Adjusting
So I eventually did leave. However, I am now adjusting to the culture, the time difference, the things I got used to do. Here I am trying to laugh at the things that I am currently experiencing. I am in a different country, a different culture, and there’s still one thing that’s the same. I’m still stuck in my head, expressing it anonymously (well unknown to my friends and family) about what bothers me most. I can’t say I hate it here; after all, it is I who chose this. My mom would always remind me that they are not forcing me to leave, but the adventurer side of me won. So here I am, still waiting to spread my wings and fly (I know it’s a cliche, but I can’t help it.) Here I am pouring my thoughts to you, about how everything is not as it appears to be. Will keep you posted, luv. 🙂