I just need to let this out of my system before I do something crazy. I have to stop fantasizing about something — er, someone. He’s not exactly the one I’ve talked before but then is still connected. I’ll finally say it. Reminiscing can only bring two things, it’s either you can be wistful about how happy you were then; or be grateful of now because of the bad things of then. Now, I just can’t help but feel a mix of both. Nothing new there I know, for I am always at the gray area and I know it’s not good.
Going back. I hate this fickle-minded state. But then, who said that life should always be in black and white? I just hope that it applies to my situation.. then again, not.
Smooth talker that’s what he is. He’s so good with words. So good at using them, shooting straight to my skull. Yeah. This makes me feel like something creepy crawls under my skin… hmm, anyway, in this panic-stricken mode, I just need to remind myself that this should not be the case. What happened in the past must remain a lesson for you in the present and in the future. Especially in his fucked-up situation. Kahit gaano pa kadulas dila niya. Well that sounds and (feels) awkward. tsk. \\I think I should get some sleep. One night of online rendezvous should not bear so much inside. hmmmm. now just to convince myself how. Pft.
I’ll be grabbign some Z’s i guess.